oh my radda!

Haha :D.

What to talk about...

Okay, I've lost another five pounds! Totaling twelve pounds in two weeks. That sounds right, I've been working my butt off! I'm excited!

Anywho. I've been dreaming quite a lot about bumblebees. Several times...every night or so. It's weird. I decided to search around for what it could mean.

I really only found two different meanings.

"Seeing bumblebees flying around means that you are wasting your time with some unimportant matters. A bumblebee is not a good sign, because the pain they cause is bigger than any other bee does. Take this dream also as a warning that you may have to watch out for "false" friends that may "sting you"."

Hm...interesting.
Here's the other.

"To see a bumblebee in your dream, is symbolic of distress and coming problems. "
Great.

Well...got to go exercise. Later.

Hmm....

I have a lot to say to people but I think it's better if I keep my mouth shut.

lsdkfjalskfj

hi mom.

pow wow YEAH

Topamax is making my hair fall out in incredible amounts.

Not good whatsoever...it's really scary. Everytime I take a shower I cringe. Not because I'm fat either, lawlz

I bought some bioton vitamins so I hope they help with that. And HOPEFULLY I won't have to be on the topamax for too much longer since I am losing the weight.
I went to the Operation Slimdown meeting today, and in one week I lost seven pounds!
I was completely shocked...wasn't expecting that, whatsoever.

My dad also lost seven pounds, my mom lost five, and my sister lost two. But my poor sister...she hasn't been able to do much, her knee bothers her so much. And apparently she can't sit out in gym while running because the teacher 'doesn't care what notes we write, she cares what the doctors write'....I guess we can't help it if we can't get to the doctor everyday to ask if she can make it to gym or not? Either way, she lost two pounds which is awesome :D. Haha. I'm really proud of all of us...we are all trying really hard.

I'm still getting some headaches but they're not horrible ones or anything. I go to the doctor soon...to get some blood work done to make the medicine isn't causing any harmful side effects. I'd die if they were....D:

I'm really excited about workin' out though. I'm enjoying it. I'm feeling a lot fuller when I eat too...which is awesome. And I'm amped up for college :DDDD. I cannot wait!
It's going to be so weird and fun and alsdfkjasdlkfjsldfkjsldkfjsd :D I am really excited about the dorm room part, too...It's going to be fun decorating it with Patty, haha. Hopefully we won't have too many differences. But, I think we're both pretty good on agreeing on each other's certain terms so I think we'll be fine...

Oh...by the way...did anyone get invited to that governors thing in Charleston? I am sure you did, but are you going? It's some sort of Gear up thing? I guess I am going to go. I get an awesome gold medallion apparently, haha.

I think I'll walk over to Crystal's sometime this week...maybe wednesday, because tomorrow I'm going to be busy...and I think I may be for a little while on Wednesday, too...but not for a long time. So yeah, probably Wednesday, or maybe Thursday. I miss my buddiez.

Well..I'm going to end this now. I gotta get up a little earlier than usual to work out, haha.

Blah.

oksdlfjd

i'm so interested in learning about the past and thinking about my present that i forget to think about my future.

and right now, my future is what i need to be focusing on.

it always comes to this. should i, 'go with the flow of things?' or should i, 'make things happen?' maybe i'm so analytical of myself i just let life pass me by.

all i can do now is think. daydream. somebody can ask me something, and i won't hear them because i'm off in my own world. it's getting scary. it's partly due to my medicine i am taking, so that's a relief, because i thought i was just turning into a zombie.

all i can do is hope that when i got marshall, people will take me in. if people don't like me, i can just start to beg for friends. like, stand on the streets with a sign saying "in dire want of friends" or something.
i don't know what it is, but i'm just the WORST with making friends and keeping them entertained. maybe it's because the friends i have now, we don't have a lot in common. what's sad is that the people i have stuff in common with, or seem to, are 30 and 40. how does that happen?
what, am i 30 or 40 years old inside, or something? maybe i am...
maybe it's because i seek someone who can tell me things i want to hear. maybe i hold my standards too high.

i like talking to people about these kinds of things but i don't know anyone who likes doing that. or i don't know anyone who feels comfortable doing so.

all i know is that i don't want to be the person i was back a couple of months ago.

maybe people are out to get me. sometimes i do think that, but then brush it off. Then, something happens to make me think it all over again. am i paranoid? maybe a little. but isn't it a good thing to be just a little paranoid? i'm not so paranoid that when someone glances at me i automatically think they're going to kill me, or anything.

today was so pretty out. i love this weather. i walked a mile with my father today, and in a couple of days i'm going to inez to join that weight loss program. it's actually called 'operation slimdown' which is even funnier. you get a t-shirt so that's pretty great. haha.
i know i'm going to lose the weight. (hopefully i don't jinx myself) but, i'm doing great. exercise wise, eating-wise, everything...just really good. i've decided to just go by weight watchers points because it's really simple. and then i can exercise 4-5 times a week, walking and the gym. i'm already lowering my medicine. so that's good news, because the more weight i lose the more i can lower my medicine. but...i just hope my brain doesn't swell anymore. if it swells then i'd become blinder D:. and i don't want that. but, i'm really trying to lose weight. it's hard not to weight myself every few days...i'm trying to weigh myself just once a week so i can see the progress that way. my mom's buying the wiifit, haha. i don't even know if that works, but it'll be fun either way, and get me off the couch/away from the food and up and moving so it's gotta do some good.
the transition from incredibly fatty foods to incredibly healthy foods has been a little hard but i'm doing okay. when EVERYONE in the house is dieting it makes it much easier, that way there's no fatty foods in the house. before when i tried to diet, i was the only one, and it was hard.

well, i guess i'm going to watch some tv with my sister and play some games (she's begging me, here, haha). update soon.

love,
w.

weetwoot

I'm happy to say I've lost fifteen pounds :D!

I'm aware I can lose a lot more...I've lost this just by stopping all pop and changing my eating habits very little.

Oh, and I'm not exercising all that much either...D:

The only exercise I'm getting is walking around in Wal-mart and other places for hours helping my mom grocery shop because I'm afraid she'll get sick. And I'd rather be there for her then...ugh, my aunt. Honestly.



But, the good news is that I'm joining a weight loss program, me and my mom on one team, and my dad and sister on another. It's something over at Inez...some kind of Biggest Loser type deal which makes me lawlz. But, at least you get the gym at a very cheap price for three months and you win prizes and have the chance at winning $500. Oh, and losing weight. So, those are all pluses. Haha.



Doctor's visits as of late have just been...bleh, lately. It seems like I go and they tell me the same thing over and over again. Which is a lot better than getting bad news, though, right?



I read a book over the weekend I bought at the dollar store in the mall. It was called Eleanor Rigby. It's not the greatest book, but I liked it anyway.



Scholarships suck. I'm so confused about all this college stuff ):! Blehhhhh. I got my application in for the Higher Education one thanks to Amber (Crystal's sister) I had no idea about it. I probably missed a buttload. I DID miss a buttload. Oh well...I guess I'll just get student loans and all and pay it all back. It won't be that bad, hopefully.



Finally found some new shoes that I liked and were comfy and durable. I took Page's word and tried New Balance...haha. I cannot wait until it gets warmer. I wish I could go on a huge vacation. The vacation I wanted to go on so badly...the one I've been wanting to go on for five years now, it seems everyone else is going on this year. It sucks. But, I've decided that if I lose a lot of weight, and I'm fit enough to hike three miles to the ancient sea where people believed souls were lost, then me and my family will go. I'm saving up my money for that now. I really want to go. Obviously. If I've been waiting five years to go...



I want to be an anthropologist or an archaeologist or something of the sort. Anything like that--I want to be. I don't want to be a professor, or so I think, so I'd prefer joining some sort of organization instead that pays well. That's what I want to do. I like everything about it...and there's SO much to learn. You basically go to school your whole life. And I don't mind it, because I feel such a strong passion towards it. The idea of going to med school for 8 years? ehhh. But the idea of going to school every now and then and taking tests all your life to learn about the world and the people that live in it...that is something that interests me. I'd never be bored.



I finally met up with my friends the other day. Or at least some of 'em. It was fun. I hope to do it again! I miss hanging out with all of them. Really do.
I'm supposed to meet up with Patty, on Tuesday I guess, to talk over our Marshall stuff. She called me yesterday but then got a beep and never called back...so I guess she'll call today. I'm really excited for college...it's going to be a lot fun :D.

Hmm....this is long enough and my tummy's rumblin'. I'm hung-ray. Mhm.

Love,
W.