...

Okay, not a-okay, but avoiding him makes things a little better.

Wow.

All I have to do is avoid Robbie, never see him again, or talk to him again, and I'm a-okay. Even though the last time we saw one another, it was the most horrible I had felt in a really long time, I'm not going to attempt to make it any better.

He still has my comic book.

I guess I can sacrifice it for the sake of my happiness.

So, yeah...

I don't know what has been up with me these past few...weeks, this past month or so...however long it has been that I've been feeling the way I have. The good news is, is that I'm finally sick of sitting around moping and having pity parties. I just don't really know what to do now.

I use to be really close with my family, and all of it fell apart incredibly fast. Or, you know what? Maybe I was never close with my family, and all this being apart from them made me realize it. Either way, it's no fun. I hardly ever see my sister anymore, and she's changed a whole lot. I suppose I have as well. I never see my mother, and when I do, I just kind of ignore her anyway, so that's my fault. And my dad is just really annoying.

I honestly believe that being around here is just no good for me. Kermit is full of suck. My parents work all the time. My sister never talks to me anymore. And I love him and he hurt me so much...But you know what's so funny about all of this? It's mostly all my fault.

I'm getting frustrated and I'm trying not to let it show. I'm just trying to remain aloof. I don't even talk to anyone about any of this and I wish I could talk to someone trustworthy, someone who wouldn't go blab to someone else about it or call me stupid for feeling the way I feel. And I don't want to talk to my parents about it. I just...don't. I just want to talk to someone about this because honestly, I'm sick of having these random emotional outbursts. It's getting old.

All I know is that I'm ready for college. I'm afraid of it, but I'm really excited. And I hope I get my head straight by then. Like I said, I know being here isn't any good for me, because I sit here, day after day, all by myself. And I think too much about the wrong things. And not enough about the right things. I really, really need to get my head straight. And I'm trying.

I could have went to the Half Blood Prince premiere but I thought I was going to Orientation. My family...they've known about this forever, and they had planned out everything last minute. But...no, didn't go. So missed out on it. I was really looking forward to it. So that was something else that made me frustrated. Really...really frustrated.

Eh, this is long enough. I don't know what else to say really.

well well pt2

In regards to my last post.

It turns out that everything that was making me happy was only an illusion of sorts. So, ta-da. All gone.

Just like I figured.

well, well.

Blah.
I've come to realize that you just can't tell some people things. People who just keep prying and prying and prying until you tell them something.... they're just going to go tell somebody else. And, well, it's frustrating. Because it seems that I can't talk to anyone. That I can't count on anyone. And I feel like I'm going to explode into a million tiny pieces soon because I keep everything so bottled up.

I don't know. I've been enjoying myself, I suppose. I've been enjoying where my life seems to be going. I just think that it's all going to be taken away from me. I always have that lingering thought in the back of my mind....I just can't help it. I'm so used to never being truly happy and feeling so lonely, that I'm afraid of getting too attached. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that things that appear to be going well won't last and I'll end up going right back to where I was before.

That, I don't want.

i'm bored.

oh...man.